I'm a slacker. I apologise. I actually have a lot to write- when I quit playing world of warcraft (indefinitely), I started spending a lot more time reading my RSS feeds when I'm at home. Interestingly I also spend less time on MSN than I would if I was playing WoW; perhaps I only log onto Messenger when I'm trying to convince myself that I'm still in touch with the rest of the world.

Here's something you might like to know:
"As gasoline prices climb inexorably, American driving habits are going to have to undergo a massive change, mimicking the driving habits long adopted by Europeans who have faced much higher gas prices. Average miles driven will likely fall by as much as 15%, while the market share of light trucks, SUVs and vans will be literally halved, reversing the trend of the last fifteen years. But the most fundamental, and unprecedented change will be in the number of vehicles on the road."
(http://research.cibcwm.com/economic_public/download/sjun08.pdf)

Not that we're surprised, right? I'm surprised that it's taken this long - guess the magic number is 4.. dollars (a gallon).


If you're wondering, no, I haven't forgotten about my livejournal and no, this isn't the most interesting thing I have to say. I will stick to less economic and more interesting topics if I can...

Tags: 2008, interesting, updates

sometimes it comes slowly; a buildup, over time, of stress and longing. unrequited desires. a need for empathy. wanting to feel connected even by the thinnest of strands to someone else. and so it grows over days, weeks, months. that gnawing feeling at the bottom of your heart, that ache that doesn't go away, that final realisation of what is going on.

and sometimes it is entirely different. sometimes it is swift, sudden, unexpected: one moment you are someone and the next you are not. happy, then sad. ecstatic, then depressed.



i cannot decide which of these i prefer.


either way, i don't see there being any particular reason, other than the usual. i don't know if there's anything i will be able to do about it, or if it will just "sort itself out" and settle like snowflakes at the bottom of a christmas ornament (hey, i had to make the analogy). i hope the latter, because i don't want to do anything, to change anything, to possibly exacerbate the problem.

there - did i say it was a problem? it's not. it's just a little thing... it's nothing. i'm fine, really.


(sorry that my public posts - infrequent as they are! - are so emo. i will write about christmastime soon, when i get over this little slump.)

Tags: 2007
Current Mood: cold
Current Music: cartel - say anything (else)

http://www.chaser.com.au/content/view/3464/236/

Anybody interested? Details:

Sydney

The Roundhouse, UNSW Union Building, Anzac Parade, Kensington, 2033
Tuesday 4^th December 6.30pm
Tickets phone 132 849 or click here.

Manning Bar, Manning House, University of Sydney
Wednesday 5^th December 6.30pm
Tickets click here.

Tags: 2007, events
Current Mood: busy

I've started packing.

My wardrobe is arranged into several baskets of clothes, which have been somewhat organised into categories - for example, underwear, socks, winter tops, summer tops, things i'll never wear, and so on. Presumably this would make my packing easier: take whatever I want out of whichever basket it's in, and pack it neatly into my suitcase.

But no! My process is something more like:

1. Open wardrobe
2. See something I like and grab it
3. Consider its practicality (weather, for example)
4. Throw it on the ground (yes) or back in the wardrobe (no)
5. Repeat

This is starting to worry me. What if I don't have enough clothes? What if I've underestimated (or worse, overestimated) the weather over there? What if a gigantic tsunami hits my house between now and Saturday and all the clothes I've put on the floor (instead of in my suitcase) wash away? Arrgh!

That aside, I have yet to finish my to-do list. By 'finish', I mean 'finish constructing'. Anyway, at the moment it contains three types of items:
Useful to-do which includes "pack", "passport" and "ID";
Nerdy to-do (by far the longest list) which includes "charge laptop, mobile, ipod", "copy music to laptop" and (I don't know WHY) "sync bookmarks". Hey, maybe I'll get bored.
and, of course, random to-do items such as "pack timtams".

I'm going for THREE WEEKS. BY MYSELF. HALFWAY AROUND THE WORLD. And I'm making sure I don't forget the timtams?!?! My mother would be horrified.

(of course, i haven't told her.)

Anyway, I now have a better understanding of my to-do list and a pile of clothes on the floor. Here's a question for you: what's something that I need to pack or carry onto the plane which I'm likely to forget? All suggestions welcome. :)

Tags: holiday, packing
Current Mood: amused

16 days!

Tags: 2007, holiday
Current Music: sneaky sound system - i love it

dear you,

you said i don't update enough. or something. so here is an update just for you, while you're sleeping, in plain view of all the people who will be confused as to why i'm writing something personal in livejournal and not making it private like i do everything else.

you are wonderful.

love,
phoebe

--------------------

In other news, it's 27 days til my holiday! Oh yesohyesohyes. I'm very excited, although there are so many things to do and things coming up and things I haven't done yet. And I'm working tomorrow (yes, on a Sunday!) - although this means that I'll have some extra money for the whole "going on a holiday need some $" event. (I still haven't found a messenger bag for my laptop, though; this is becoming a priority)

Lissa and Rick's engagement party tonight, and I ate lots of food D: ugh bloated. but it was yummy food (cappuccino eclairs are delicious!) and there were nice people that I haven't really seen for a long time (like Lissa, even). But more on that tomorrow if I'm motivated at work to write in LJ.

Tags: 2007, flippy, holiday!, updates
Current Location: home again, home again.

damn you and your silliness!

i have a packet of timtams in front of me (they were unpacked by my mother) but i don't want to open them because essentially they don't belong to me..

must.. mail..

i've been waiting for this moment all my life, but it's not quite right

Borrowed Stardust (the paperback, not the movie!) from Camille on the weekend when I was over at her place. I am really good at the visit-and-borrow. If you have anything, anything that you want to read (or watch) more than once that is at your place and in open sight, don't invite me over because I will "ohhh! I really want to read/watch/listen to that. Can I borrow it?" and then it becomes rude and unfriendly to say no. Heh. I do return things - mostly. You might have to harass me for it, sometimes, because I just don't get around to returning things.

(as an aside, Camille, I still have the latest (or is it second-latest, now?) Lian Hearn book. I read about one chapter and didn't like it, but I will struggle through one day if you don't ask me for it.)

I've always wanted to run a library, basically for this reason. Perhaps a library isn't really the best term for it, because there are lots of things I'd like to share with other people which aren't particularly returnable - food, for instance. As well as movies and television shows and music and all the usual things. And sometimes you just don't mind if it never comes back, because you know that someone else is appreciating it. I don't know how this would work, but I will work it out someday.

Anyway, link to Stardust trailer here. It's been out for a while, but I was only linked the trailer today and I forget to be proactive about these things. The book (story, I guess) is awesome, though. It's only slightly Gaiman-like, but then the only other things that he's written that I've read are the Sandman graphic novels courtesy of Brigit.


Edit: holy cow, my grammar sucks :( Fixed parts.

Tags: library, movies
Current Music: barcelona nights youtube clip

This is it.

Facing the wall, hands clenched, eyes closed; she's afraid, but she's more afraid of showing fear than what is actually out there. Behind her, she can hear the screams of the crowd, hungry for blood. Her heart races. The drums start, slowly at first and building up to a beat so powerful that she feels herself almost lifted off the ground and swept away.

This is it.

Not that this song is relevant or anything. But it's stuck in my head.

Going out tonight for dinner with dorukai and his friends. I'm not sure I'm really up for it - I'm really tired. And it's Wednesday and I won't be able to talk to Flippy tonight unless I get. some. sleep. And I feel sick :\ it's a horrible feeling and my eyes are so tired even though I had a really really really nice coffee this morning. Arrgh.

Anyway. I will try to cheer up, because it's probably just the 4pm (4:23pm!) slump that always hits me - though, wow, I think I need to get up and move around because my ability to concentrate is just shot. But.. movement? What? I'm having difficulty keeping my eyes open, let alone moving other limbs.

I guess I stayed up too late last night or something.

Gah let me write more when I'm coherent. :(


I'm desperate to know how you are.
I hope you're deep asleep.
I've been awake for days trying to study every inch of your body,
In this picture from a distant day
When I could safely say nothing in the world could tear me down in any way.
But like a dream you disappeared without a sound, without a trace.

Sleep well darling, where ever you are
I hope that you're happy tonight,
And maybe you found someone to love you right.
Sleep well darling, I'm desperate to say now I need you more than ever,
But all I could say was goodnight.

This is for a girl back home, she tore down all my walls.
Loved me for all she had known but I pushed it all away from me.
And no no even if I knew even if I knew what to say to you,
It's just too late to make you stay I'm stick of fighting this broken fate.
And someone else gets to tell you that you're beautiful.

Sleep well darling, where ever you are
I hope that you're happy tonight,
And maybe you found someone to love you right.
Sleep well darling, I'm desperate to say now I need you more than ever,
But all I could say was goodnight.

It's the last thing I want but it's all that I've got.
It's the last thing I need but I still carry you in my heart, in my heart.
It's the last thing I want but it's all that I've got.
It's the last thing I need but I still carry you in my heart, in my heart.

Sleep well darling, where ever you are
I hope that you're happy tonight,
And maybe you found someone to love you right.
Sleep well darling, I'm desperate to say now I need you more than ever,
But all I could say was goodnight.

Tags: blah
Current Mood: zzz
Current Music: it's only on in my head

my mother put sundried tomatoes in my sandwich. did i ever tell you how much i love her?

and yes she makes me sandwiches! so what!

Tags: food

I just got home from the FFaF concert.. and in typical pb-blog fashion:

Things I Liked:

• It wasn't that crowded. We got in straight away without any security guard hassles, although I was probably fifteen minutes late.. D:
• The support acts were Dopamine and Bayside. The former was a bit hard to hear, and the latter was really, really good.
• Camille came with me. (Thanks!) Short notice because the person I bought the ticket for couldn't come.
• The band was really friendly! They talked a bit in between bursts of music (I think it's called 'having a rest'). The lead singer was sort of sick so he kept thanking the audience for singing along with him, which I thought was really sweet.
• There was an encore. Two songs, in fact!
• They played my favourite songs as well as some new ones ^^
• We went for pancakes afterwards. Yummy.

And what I didn't like? Well.. Other than the singer being so sick he could hardly sing sometimes, and the dodgy sound quality of the lead mic. There were sound guys running on stage for both of the support acts which was a little strange and disconcerting.

Too many kids too! aaaargh.

Singing along was fun though, there's something really awesome about a whole audience singing in tune. or almost.

Just got home not too long ago and need to wind down a bit!

Technorati Tags: 2007, music

Tags: 2007, music

I like to partition my life. People in boxes. Upstairs vs downstairs. At home, at work. I think I've also started to keep my friends separate, where before I wanted to put everybody in one room and for everybody to just get along. I don't do this anymore; maybe I've realised it just isn't possible?

Anyway, so I got my Macbook. She's a pretty thing; a bit pale (heh) but oh-so-functional. I live with her upstairs in my bedroom, and I'm working on a travel solution so I can get her to go anywhere with me. (Like America!). I also tried making a wiki (I use Tiddlywiki on my laptop but I've been lazy with it), a weblog (on my website; http://www.withahat.net/), and of course I have my LiveJournal. I try to keep their content separate: personal/informational stuff on the wiki (like passwords OMGAT), interesting webloggy stuff that's going to win me an award (yeah right) on the WordPress weblog and.. personal stuff on LiveJournal that one day somebody is going to read and love me for.

(I told you there was nothing in this about you. How wrong I was.)

And then I have my paper diaries. I think I have almost twenty of them, going back to the late 90s, even, when my sister gave me an exercise book decorated in pictures and covered in contact, and we used to draw borders and pictures in crayon and then write about our day. I was always terrible at keeping them, and I'd forget what happened on the previous day but try to write about it anyway. Then through my high school years where I learnt that to be popular one has to have a particular amount of associated drama: whether it be boys, or family, or drugsandalcohol.

I should also mention my OpenDiary which I don't write in anymore.

It's only when I go through my tags or tell somebody about my livejournal that I realise quite how much stuff is here rather than everywhere else. And I like that. It's not really personal-stuff-only; it talks about work, and media, and my brief foray into the philosophy of science. It has my bank details (heh, made you look!) and it has birthdays.

I want to consolidate, because that's the other thing I love doing (entirely perverse to what I said previously.. I'm a Gemini, and I'm female, dammit. I can change my mind whenever I want!). I think this is something that would occupy more than a few hours, and it might be pleasant to go back through what I wrote years and years ago about sex, drugs, rock and/or roll.

I wonder if anybody else has done a similar thing. I'm sure they have. I wonder if it's worth the effort, though.

Tags: archive, livejournal

More updates! I love writing everyday nothing stuff in my livejournal because it adds a sense of order to my otherwise chaotic existence. What frustrates me from updating at work is that firefox has an awful memory leak that, combined with my virtual server, causes a few seconds lag every time I hit the backspace key, meaning that I have to wait while it sorts itself out. Actually, it seems to be infrequently, not just when I'm hitting backspace. So.. irritating..

WoW...
We killed Kael'thas! And I topped DPS! And I sang the Jigglypuff song! And I don't play that much, because there are other things on my plate.. although by "not that much" I still mean five nights a week for at least four hours. Hmm.

CSE Revue (http://www.cserevue.org.au)
Going on the last Saturday (I think the 22nd?) - I have four tickets, but subtract my sister+partner and me leaves one, so.. I asked Camille and Brigit and neither of them got back to me straight away D: and all the rest of the seats are booked, or close to. So get back to me.

Cars.
My dad finally got rid of mum's BMW (that old thing! with the awesome GPS and the sunroof and the indulgence which a mother and her terrible driver of a daughter did -not- need) and instead.. we have a Mini Cooper. It's green, and cute, and fun to drive! And it has no legroom in the back!

Funeral for a Friend
I'm going on Sunday and I've convinced Camille it's worth going to see this Welsh emo-rock-screamo group but I'm not sure she'll enjoy it :< It was $52.50! and I actually bought the ticket for Scott but then we broke up, and he's too busy to come up to Sydney, and blah, blah blah.. so yeah. It's at the Metro and it should be awesome, as long as they play History. ^_^

ebay
I ebayed a couple of things this week. By the verb 'ebay' I actually mean 'bought stuff off of' which is bad. I like buying brand new things off Ebay because it means I don't have to worry about actually going out and finding time to shop. I also like getting presents in the mail.

presents
I bought Tim Tams for various friends in the US, but now I'm worried that I'm going to have to pay customs or declare them or something. Someone told me it's okay to mail that kind of stuff. But I'm not sure :< Especially if I add other items and the box gets heavier? Anyway.. I went to the supermarket on Monday night to get them (four packets! Two for flippy, one for derius, and one - heh - for me) and the checkout chick must have thought I was terribly greedy T_T. Then again, I think it's perfectly normal to go out and purchase fourty eight chocolate biscuits and a tube of moisturiser. No, really. Why does that sound so wrong?!

messenger bag
I found the messenger bag I want. (here.) Unfortunately, I can't find a retailer in Australia for it, and I can't find a store in the US that will ship here. GRRrr. Any suggestions? Waiting until November (when I go to the States) isn't really ideal as I want it to -take- to the US.


I think that will have to do for the moment, because my Windows Updater is nagging me to restart, and I need to close Firefox as these.. pauses.. are.. becoming.. more.. frequent......

Tags: 2007, boys, flippy, holidays, updates, wishlist, wow
Current Location: werk

I am on a spending spree. I blame it on the fact that I worked a couple of hours overtime a couple of weekends ago and suddenly it felt like I had a whole lot of money that I don't actually have because I promptly spent it. However, while I am still feeling materialistic, I will list the things I want:

* a new pair of jeans. Bootcut. Dark rigid denim. Nothing fancy.
* a pair of flat or very low-heeled shoes I can wear to work (so, black preferably). I actually bought a pair of flats when I was at DFO on the weekend, but they're too small for me. I have no idea how I managed to wear them 'comfortably' in the shop :< but they were like, half price.. I might ebay them.
* a messenger bag. I have been eyeing this bag, only to find out that I can't find an Australian stockist. lolwhat? Typical. I have a bunch of criteria, finally, such as: canvas, shoulder/messenger bag, not too big but it has to fit my 13" Macbook (add about a quarter of an inch, maybe, for the sleeve I keep it in), as well as notebooks, pens, spoons etc.) And I don't want to pay ungodly amounts of dosh for it :( at the moment it seems as though my laptop is going to either have to stay home when I travel (NOOO) or I'm going to have to shell out money I don't really want to spend on such a bag. (Any suggestions?)
* Alice bands. I bought a few the other day at a neat little cheapo Asian store at Hurstville, but a girl can never have too many hair accessories. I also want bobby pins because for some reason all the ones I share with Lydia have mysteriously disappeared...
* A DVI->TV connector for my macbook. Actually, a couple of things for my Macbook (its name is iloveflippy but I think it might need a shorter name soon - maybe flippette) such as Vmware Fusion, and various cables, and a bluetooth mouse (or maybe a cabled one) and .. and..
* more time in my day. please.

Tags: wishlist
Current Mood: greedy
Current Music: Sarah Blasko - Cinders

It is always wonderful when the last hour of the day goes past quickly. I mean, of the workday... it's always disturbing when you start to associate the length of your work day with the length of time you are physically capable of doing anything useful.

Waffle waffle waffle.

I have a mascot at work, finally.. a Daffodil Day bear (Dougal - OH, ALLITERATION!) who keeps me company when I'm dealing with difficult clients, and smiles benevolently the rest of the time. I still need things on/around my desk, though, and if you provide me with enough ideas I will endeavour to make my work environment a happier (if weirder) place.

being the huge geek that i am, i've set up a nice little wiki on my laptop which i can use to write in instead of having to find a word processor. teehee.

i'm so busy at the moment with work, people, work, particular boys who are good at stressing me out, boys who are good at unstressing me, and wow.

also, having upgraded my internet connection (well, work -is- paying for it) means more downloads, which means more movies and more music.. the latter is what is making me happy, really. i can appease the inner consumer by listening to at least -one new track- every single day. this is beyond awesome.

work is busy, but not really a lot to say on that front. i bitch about particular people i have to work with (not colleagues, but rather an external contractor for a customer we deal with) but work itself is lots of fun, it keeps me busy and there's always something interesting to do. oh, and it encourages me to be a nerdgirl. i'm not sure if this is such a good thing, since i quite enjoy being able to have proper conversations with people which don't involve computers...

speaking of work, since i'm at the australian technology park which is often used as a convention centre (there were australian idol auditions here a few months ago), there's often events on. today there happened to be a forum on land development. boring, right? well.. some protesters thought it would be a good idea to inform the land development councils that "sex workers are people too" and "some sex workers enjoy being prostitutes" and so on and so forth. i believe they were arguing FOR the development of brothels. i'm not sure why they thought anybody at that particular meeting would care, though, since all the people going in and out seemed pretty nonplussed about the thought of sex workers. But perhaps I wasn't really paying that much attention.

Not eating enough at the moment, although when I do eat I'm eating quite a bit of rubbish (it helps that there are three cafes near my office). Saving up - sort of - for my holiday! means not so many coffees or pub lunches or just going out in general. Or perhaps it's just that I'm skipping dinner a lot rather than actually eating less. I forget to eat at night if someone doesn't remind me, and I often eat too fast when I eat with family.

Anyway, just thought I'd post FROM BED! YAY! i am glad i was born this century.

Current Location: in my bed
Current Music: Jack's Mannequin - The Mixed Tape

Yay, updating from my new laptop next to bed is the second coolest thing ever.

I think the coolest thing ever would have to be choolate warm fudge caramel brownies.

Tags: macbook
Current Location: home
Current Mood: excited

Ugh, so much to do - so little time?! I guess I'm cautious about writing in here because there is so much I want to say and most of it is not particularly interesting. Not to mention my paranoia has crept up on me again and I really only just noticed this last week that it's around. So there are a few plans in the works:

* Pay for my flight and so on. Wow. Yay! Holiday. I have to do this tomorrow.
* And therefore also have to hand in various forms and so on and so forth which are to do with travelling.
* I've reformatted -this- computer. It currently has four applications: firefox, itunes, msn and mirc. I figured that if I didn't install the worst at the beginning I wouldn't install them at all and then I would be cut off from several things I quite enjoy, such as my music and my contacts...
* I need to go away, so desperately. The whole paranoia thing is getting to me. I think about my ex boyfriend too much. I think about wow too much. (ugh!) I think about silly nonsensical emo things too much. And I write really bad songs.

Also being so easily spooked has meant that my last half dozen or so entries have been private although not particularly interesting, and I don't like that. I generally save private entries for bitchy things that I don't want anybody to know; sad things that I don't want anybody to know; incomplete things that I don't want to show anyone yet, and old letters and so on that I just want to keep for posterity. Oh, and bank account details and passwords and credit card numbers and all that. What? Security conscious? No way. Anyway, I do want to clean that up a bit and write more relevant entries, if not more interesting entries. I've missed keeping up on fascinating philosophy of science things, as well as the news in general (plus there's an election coming up soon and I want to have a semi informed opinion by the time that rolls around).

And paragraphs, oh, paragraphs, how I love thee. I want to write more. I have spent a fortune on stationery in the last twenty two years and I intend to use as much of it as possible.

Tags: updates